Blue

November 29, 2005 at 4:11 am Leave a comment

Maybe it’s a juvenile notion, but the concept of anything, and I mean anything, threatening the place you call home, is unsettling to me. My house is my sanctuary, and my family inside it are priceless, and I know we came out of it without a scratch, but for some reason..just the mere thought we were so close to not being ok, is what shakes me a little.

And as I sit in my nice warm home and cherish every minute of it, the minute I step out of my front door there is a certain sadness of the change that is outside. Everything from seeing portable bathrooms on every corner, to the endless amounts of soldiers around working to assess the damage and get houses boarded up in this bone chilling weather we have now.

And as trivial as it may seem to some…

My tree line out back – it’s gone, and all that’s left are pointy stumps. I liked looking out my back window and seeing evergreens. I always thought it was nice, that even though we live in fairly new housing, that they still built around some of the trees, somehow it makes it seem more personal and less commercial and cold like some fabricated neighborhoods can seem to be.

It’s not that I’m not grateful, and that I don’t know how much worse it could have been, it’s just that even though the WORSE didn’t happen….something still did. And when you look out at the world and it looks dramatically different, it still effects you.

Or me anyway. But I can be a sentimental fool sometimes. There’s not many things around me that don’t have some meaning to me. If it’s crap I throw it out..but if it’s not, it’s a piece of me that grounds me…calms me.

blah. I’m sad.

go to sleep Glenda..

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